For 10 years my life was about moving every year. Not just for the joy of moving, but for work. It was fantastic, if you loved a place , although it was hard to leave, you were glad for the time you had there. If you hated it, well you only had to suffer through it for a year.
When I stopped traveling it was all about stability - how could I have a real life and ever have a meaningful relationship if I were moving all of the time? If I could reach back in time I'd slap that naive 25 year old and tell her to stay where she was and enjoy what she had. Since "settling down" I feel as though I stay in a constant state of discontent. Perhaps my heart truly is that of a wanderer.
But in the midst of my desire to "wander" I wonder (I wonder as a I wander... I think that's one of my fave Christmas songs!) I digress... I wonder in the midst of all of this roaming if I am just searching. When I was a kid or even 10 years ago I could tell you what I wanted to do with my life, what I wanted to be when I grew up, what I was passionate about. And as of late it seems to have become this gray fuzzy lump that has no clarity. Maybe I'm just looking for the thing that motivates me again.
So how do you find your passion again? How do you get back to the main road when the detour you've taken is so off the beaten path you can't even see the little bread pieces you laid out for yourself to find your way back?
Meanwhile that itch is back - waiting and ready for you to move, to change your surroundings, and get away to something new and different yet, always familiar.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Decision Time
Dormant: marked by a suspension of activity: as a: temporarily devoid of external activity dormant volcano> b: temporarily in abeyance yet capable of being activated
Active: characterized by action rather than by contemplation or speculation active life> 2: producing or involving action or movement
Dreams: (3) a strongly desired goal or purpose dream of becoming president> b: something that fully satisfies a wish : ideal
It is an interesting interaction when the 3 meet. Only you can decide the outcome. Fear dwells among them, but it is your choice if the fear will motivate you or hinder you.
The clock is ticking frantically. It's time to make a decision.....
Active: characterized by action rather than by contemplation or speculation active life> 2: producing or involving action or movement
Dreams: (3) a strongly desired goal or purpose dream of becoming president> b: something that fully satisfies a wish : ideal
It is an interesting interaction when the 3 meet. Only you can decide the outcome. Fear dwells among them, but it is your choice if the fear will motivate you or hinder you.
The clock is ticking frantically. It's time to make a decision.....
Friday, June 13, 2008
I'm a bad blogger
I know! It's been weeks since I've updated and weeks upon weeks before that last one. Not that there's isn't anything going on. In fact there's too much going on, none that I'm ready to share with the world yet though.
So what can I tell you? I can tell you that I'm in a reading frenzy. I just finished a book, Hopeless Romantic by Harriet Evans. It was a great book and long. It last a whole 4 days! I've been reading a lot of books lately where the main character has some sort of relational issues. And sadly with each one I think "I'm that girl!" Even sadder - they all have different issues, which means I need to get into therapy ASAP. Not really, because even with my issues more times than not I find that I'm very content with where I am relationally.
I have decided however in recent weeks that I am cutting back on the married friend time. Nothing against them. I just need to be around people who are where I am in life and who haven't been struck with amnesia and have no recollection of what single life was like. Yes, I'll fall in love someday, but not today. And no I don't want you to "find me a husband" nor do I want you to think that you've found my perfect match just because you know a guy who's single, and I'm single therefore we are made for each other. I am constantly amazed by the people that friends and acquaintances want to fix me up with. I want to say "Do you even know me???" How did you think this person might kind of sorta be my type? It's moments like those that a convent and a retreat center hidden in the Himalayas sounds so very appealing.
I'll let you know when I find the retreat center and where to forward my mail soon...
- Drine
So what can I tell you? I can tell you that I'm in a reading frenzy. I just finished a book, Hopeless Romantic by Harriet Evans. It was a great book and long. It last a whole 4 days! I've been reading a lot of books lately where the main character has some sort of relational issues. And sadly with each one I think "I'm that girl!" Even sadder - they all have different issues, which means I need to get into therapy ASAP. Not really, because even with my issues more times than not I find that I'm very content with where I am relationally.
I have decided however in recent weeks that I am cutting back on the married friend time. Nothing against them. I just need to be around people who are where I am in life and who haven't been struck with amnesia and have no recollection of what single life was like. Yes, I'll fall in love someday, but not today. And no I don't want you to "find me a husband" nor do I want you to think that you've found my perfect match just because you know a guy who's single, and I'm single therefore we are made for each other. I am constantly amazed by the people that friends and acquaintances want to fix me up with. I want to say "Do you even know me???" How did you think this person might kind of sorta be my type? It's moments like those that a convent and a retreat center hidden in the Himalayas sounds so very appealing.
I'll let you know when I find the retreat center and where to forward my mail soon...
- Drine
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
FugMonsters Need Love Too
Today a Fug Monster came in to sign a contract to hold her wedding at our Facility. Now I'm not trying to be mean - well maybe a little. But this poor unfortunate girl, with seemingly no personality is now planning her wedding.
WTH??
Granted if I sit back and evaluate the situation I can resolve a few things....
1) I don't want to look like her
2) Although I haven't seen him yet, I'm pretty certain I don't want her fiancée
3) And based on the little information she gave me her wedding will be ugly.
I'd say 95% of the time I am very content with my life. I answer to no one but God, I go where I want, when I want, and with whomever I choose. I love my life.
But there are moments like today when the Fug monsters of the world come out to let you know that even they have found someone to spend the rest of their life with as you stay alone with your "happiness".
It's at these times where I start to think "why did I let the chiropractor go?" or "why couldn't I get over myself and resolve the issues with whats his butt's friend that I really did like?" or my favorite, "why did I waste so much time on him?"
But even as I'm having this conversation in my head. I am working late, getting more hours which equals more money, driving myself home - stopping to pick up a salad at Wendy's, and coming home to flip channels between the basketball game and Samantha Who reruns.
Answering to no one.
I guess things could be a lot worse. I could be ugly.
WTH??
Granted if I sit back and evaluate the situation I can resolve a few things....
1) I don't want to look like her
2) Although I haven't seen him yet, I'm pretty certain I don't want her fiancée
3) And based on the little information she gave me her wedding will be ugly.
I'd say 95% of the time I am very content with my life. I answer to no one but God, I go where I want, when I want, and with whomever I choose. I love my life.
But there are moments like today when the Fug monsters of the world come out to let you know that even they have found someone to spend the rest of their life with as you stay alone with your "happiness".
It's at these times where I start to think "why did I let the chiropractor go?" or "why couldn't I get over myself and resolve the issues with whats his butt's friend that I really did like?" or my favorite, "why did I waste so much time on him?"
But even as I'm having this conversation in my head. I am working late, getting more hours which equals more money, driving myself home - stopping to pick up a salad at Wendy's, and coming home to flip channels between the basketball game and Samantha Who reruns.
Answering to no one.
I guess things could be a lot worse. I could be ugly.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
A Distraction...
What do you drink with dinner?:
Water or Dr. Pepper
What do you dip a chicken nugget in?:
bbq sauce & sweet and sour
What is your favorite type of food/cuisine?:
Chinese/Japanese
What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
Catch & Release, An Affair to Remember, The Holiday, The Wedding Date, & Recently added - Dedication.
Were you in sports in high school?
nope
Were you a boy/girl scout?
for a very brief moment I was a girl scout - but those little hookers had big mouths.
When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?:
November
Ever gotten a speeding ticket?:
I used to have a perfect driving record until the stupid Kansas City, Missouri Police Department screwed it up in 2006 with their older than Methuselah officer at the bottom of a hill!!
Ran out of gas?
Once in high school, when my friend Erica was driving her boyfriend's truck that had a broken gas gage. Nice!
Favorite kind of sandwich?:
A sandwich made with that cheap Carl Budding Lunch Meat
Best thing to eat for breakfast?:
Cap n' Crunch Berries
What is your usual bedtime?:
Between 12 and 1:15AM
Are you lazy?:
at times
Are you an introvert or an extrovert?:
an extrovert if I know you already or you are coming into a situation I am comfortable with. New people - a freakish introvert
What's your favorite mixed drink?:
I like X Rated Straight - don't bother mixing it with anything
When you were a kid what did you dress up as for Halloween?
I don't remember
Do you read the newspaper?:
online
How many languages can you speak? English, a little bit of sign language, enough French & Spanish to get myself in trouble and/or lost.
Do you have any magazine subscriptions? 2, although I got a sweet deal via email today from Conde Nast publishing to get a year's subscription for Bon Appetite and Gourment for $24 total. Sweet huh? Trying to decide if I should take it.
Is Fabio ugly?:
Not just ugly....Fugly
Which are better Legos or Lincoln Logs?
Legos
Red wine or white wine?:
Red
Are you stubborn?:
stubborn/passive aggressive
Who is better...Leno or Letterman?:
Kimmel
Watch a soap opera?:
do Ugly Betty or Gray's Anatomy count?
Afraid of heights?:
depends
Sing in the car?:
fo sho!
Dance in the shower?:
No
Dance in the car?
Always!
Ever used a gun?:
yes a few times
Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?:
sometime last year with Audrey at a Wedding
Are musicals cheesy?:
nope
Is Christmas stressful?:
nope
Ever eat a pierogie?:
yes - a tasty little treat.
Favorite type of fruit pie?:
apple
Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?:
Singer
Do you believe in ghosts?:
nope
Ever have a Dejavu feeling?:
Yes, I had it tonight
Take a vitamin daily?:
nope
Wear slippers?:
No
Wear a bath robe?:
yup
What do you wear to bed?:
pj's
First concert?:
dc talk
Any tattoos?:
two
Wal-Mart, Target or K-Mart?:
depends on what it's for - But normally Target
Nike or Adidas?:
adidas
Fritos or Cheetos?:
Doritos
Corn nuts or sunflowers seeds?:
Neither
Ever heard of "gorp?":
like the witch's stew?
Ever take dance lessons?:
when I was a little girl
Is there a profession that you picture your perfect future spouse to have?
musician
Can you curl your tongue?:
yes
Ever won a spelling bee?:
Yes, in 6th grade
Have you ever cried because you were so happy?:
I cry for everything! Even when Monica has bad hair days. hehehe
5 words that describe you?:
Funny, Witty, Amusing, Hysterical, & Funny
Own any record albums?:
yes
Own a record player?: no
Regularly burn incense?:
no
Ever been in love?: yes or at least I thought I was
Who would you really like to see in concert?:
NKOTB or Madonna
Hot tea or iced tea?:
Iced
icedTea or coffee?: Iced Tea
Favorite kind of cookie?:
Homemade Chocolate Chip
Can you swim well?
yes
Can you hold your breath w/o manually holding your nose?:
yes
Ever had braces or a mouth piece?:
Never
Are you artistic?:
a little
Are you patient?:
NO
DJ or band, at a wedding?:
DJ
Ever won a contest?:
yes
Have plastic surgery?:
no
Which are better, black or green olives?
black
Can you knit or crochet?
I wish I were that talented
Best room for a fireplace?:
Bedroom
Want to get married?:
Eventually - yes
Water or Dr. Pepper
What do you dip a chicken nugget in?:
bbq sauce & sweet and sour
What is your favorite type of food/cuisine?:
Chinese/Japanese
What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
Catch & Release, An Affair to Remember, The Holiday, The Wedding Date, & Recently added - Dedication.
Were you in sports in high school?
nope
Were you a boy/girl scout?
for a very brief moment I was a girl scout - but those little hookers had big mouths.
When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?:
November
Ever gotten a speeding ticket?:
I used to have a perfect driving record until the stupid Kansas City, Missouri Police Department screwed it up in 2006 with their older than Methuselah officer at the bottom of a hill!!
Ran out of gas?
Once in high school, when my friend Erica was driving her boyfriend's truck that had a broken gas gage. Nice!
Favorite kind of sandwich?:
A sandwich made with that cheap Carl Budding Lunch Meat
Best thing to eat for breakfast?:
Cap n' Crunch Berries
What is your usual bedtime?:
Between 12 and 1:15AM
Are you lazy?:
at times
Are you an introvert or an extrovert?:
an extrovert if I know you already or you are coming into a situation I am comfortable with. New people - a freakish introvert
What's your favorite mixed drink?:
I like X Rated Straight - don't bother mixing it with anything
When you were a kid what did you dress up as for Halloween?
I don't remember
Do you read the newspaper?:
online
How many languages can you speak? English, a little bit of sign language, enough French & Spanish to get myself in trouble and/or lost.
Do you have any magazine subscriptions? 2, although I got a sweet deal via email today from Conde Nast publishing to get a year's subscription for Bon Appetite and Gourment for $24 total. Sweet huh? Trying to decide if I should take it.
Is Fabio ugly?:
Not just ugly....Fugly
Which are better Legos or Lincoln Logs?
Legos
Red wine or white wine?:
Red
Are you stubborn?:
stubborn/passive aggressive
Who is better...Leno or Letterman?:
Kimmel
Watch a soap opera?:
do Ugly Betty or Gray's Anatomy count?
Afraid of heights?:
depends
Sing in the car?:
fo sho!
Dance in the shower?:
No
Dance in the car?
Always!
Ever used a gun?:
yes a few times
Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?:
sometime last year with Audrey at a Wedding
Are musicals cheesy?:
nope
Is Christmas stressful?:
nope
Ever eat a pierogie?:
yes - a tasty little treat.
Favorite type of fruit pie?:
apple
Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?:
Singer
Do you believe in ghosts?:
nope
Ever have a Dejavu feeling?:
Yes, I had it tonight
Take a vitamin daily?:
nope
Wear slippers?:
No
Wear a bath robe?:
yup
What do you wear to bed?:
pj's
First concert?:
dc talk
Any tattoos?:
two
Wal-Mart, Target or K-Mart?:
depends on what it's for - But normally Target
Nike or Adidas?:
adidas
Fritos or Cheetos?:
Doritos
Corn nuts or sunflowers seeds?:
Neither
Ever heard of "gorp?":
like the witch's stew?
Ever take dance lessons?:
when I was a little girl
Is there a profession that you picture your perfect future spouse to have?
musician
Can you curl your tongue?:
yes
Ever won a spelling bee?:
Yes, in 6th grade
Have you ever cried because you were so happy?:
I cry for everything! Even when Monica has bad hair days. hehehe
5 words that describe you?:
Funny, Witty, Amusing, Hysterical, & Funny
Own any record albums?:
yes
Own a record player?: no
Regularly burn incense?:
no
Ever been in love?: yes or at least I thought I was
Who would you really like to see in concert?:
NKOTB or Madonna
Hot tea or iced tea?:
Iced
icedTea or coffee?: Iced Tea
Favorite kind of cookie?:
Homemade Chocolate Chip
Can you swim well?
yes
Can you hold your breath w/o manually holding your nose?:
yes
Ever had braces or a mouth piece?:
Never
Are you artistic?:
a little
Are you patient?:
NO
DJ or band, at a wedding?:
DJ
Ever won a contest?:
yes
Have plastic surgery?:
no
Which are better, black or green olives?
black
Can you knit or crochet?
I wish I were that talented
Best room for a fireplace?:
Bedroom
Want to get married?:
Eventually - yes
Thursday, May 15, 2008
I'M NOT DEAD!
It's true. I made it through last week without dying. Yay! I can't think of anything witty or brilliant to say right now, so this post will be brief.
Thanks to all who submitted their choices for the actor who would portray them in my Lifetime Movie of The Week. You have inspired a writing idea that will hopefully grow into something fantastic that I can send to Jeff - almost a year after the initial request. (Yikes!)
So anyway, thanks - I'm sure I will turn to you all again if I hit a road block. :-)
I promise to write more soon
- Drine
Thanks to all who submitted their choices for the actor who would portray them in my Lifetime Movie of The Week. You have inspired a writing idea that will hopefully grow into something fantastic that I can send to Jeff - almost a year after the initial request. (Yikes!)
So anyway, thanks - I'm sure I will turn to you all again if I hit a road block. :-)
I promise to write more soon
- Drine
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Lifetime Movie of the Week
I think I might be on my deathbed. It started Sunday night with what I thought was food poisoning. But has continued through Monday, and now on to today, Tuesday. WebMD is one of the greatest and worst things to ever be created. I've narrowed down my illness to one of 3 things. I either have kidney stones, a ruptured tumor, or appendicitis. Many have suggested that I visit a doctor, but as I said to Melissa earlier today..."I'd rather not know, that way my death will be more heartbreaking."
Which then lead us into the conversation of my life and death as the Lifetime Movie of the Week.
In discussing this with Melissa we began to figure out who would play who. Please all of you commit this to memory because I really want my last wishes to be respected.
The Cast is as follows:
Sandrine: Gabrielle Union (It's my prayer that I look like her and have her body in Heaven)
Wanda (My Mom): Angela Bassett (Unless she has a different idea)
Grandma: Cicely Tyson
Nicole Ritchie: as herself
Jilted Gay Boyfriend: Josh Groban
BFF Melissa: It's my wish that Charro play Melissa - but she didn't see too enthusiastic about it. We're still trying to decide who it will be. **Due to complaints by BFF Melissa, her character will be played by Bridget Moynahan.** **Due to more complaints and scheming by BFF Melissa, she will play herself and will try to make a play for my Jilted Gay Boyfriend**
BFF Monica: Will be played by Sela Ward
BFF Lindsay Harmon: Bridgett Wilson-Sampras
BFF Jennifer: Chyler Leigh (also known as Lexie Grey on Grey's Anatomy)
*** Note that failure to assign you a character or part is not an intentional dig at you, hmm mmm KEITH*** The characters listed just happen to be those that I communicate and interact on a daily basis, as the sentence in the paragraph below suggests, you simply need to tell me who you would like to play you.**** With that being said, the role of Crazy Politc obsessed, Rocker Friend Keith will be played by Sean Astin.
That's just a starter. If the rest of you have someone in particular that you would like to play you, please let me know.
The story line will go as such...A beautiful happy girl living a wonderful life suddenly takes ill. She knows it's fatal, but does not share with her family and friends. Once she is so ill that she can no longer hide her sickness and impending death she reveals to her friends her deep dark secret. She has a twin sister, that was given up for adoption. Her twin sister is Nicole Ritchie, but she was so sickly and unattractive when she was born the family thought it best to give her away, lest she be the shame of their family.
Her friends go to great lengths to reunite the sisters, which includes breaking into a Good Charlotte concert and doing an impromptu number with the boys. New friends and Old friends forge a bond in the midst of their sadness and will link them together forever.
At the end of the movie the girl dies...of course, but the funeral is a beautiful celebration. New Orleans style with the big band marching down the street. All of her friends give moving Ugooglies (Zoolander Shoutout!), and her jilted Gay Boyfriend realizes after singing one of the most beautiful & moving songs that he indeed is not gay and was in love in her all along. At which point Charro - or whoever plays BFF Melissa will try to kiss him. The closing scene will be her Mom, Grandma, Ugly Twin Sister, & Bff's sitting in lawn chairs around the graveside laughing and ordering drinks for the bar that's been setup, glasses are raised, tears are flowing, laughter is boisterous as they say..."To Sandrine".
I think this one might win an Emmy. I'm just saying....
Which then lead us into the conversation of my life and death as the Lifetime Movie of the Week.
In discussing this with Melissa we began to figure out who would play who. Please all of you commit this to memory because I really want my last wishes to be respected.
The Cast is as follows:
Sandrine: Gabrielle Union (It's my prayer that I look like her and have her body in Heaven)
Wanda (My Mom): Angela Bassett (Unless she has a different idea)
Grandma: Cicely Tyson
Nicole Ritchie: as herself
Jilted Gay Boyfriend: Josh Groban
BFF Melissa: It's my wish that Charro play Melissa - but she didn't see too enthusiastic about it. We're still trying to decide who it will be. **Due to complaints by BFF Melissa, her character will be played by Bridget Moynahan.** **Due to more complaints and scheming by BFF Melissa, she will play herself and will try to make a play for my Jilted Gay Boyfriend**
BFF Monica: Will be played by Sela Ward
BFF Lindsay Harmon: Bridgett Wilson-Sampras
BFF Jennifer: Chyler Leigh (also known as Lexie Grey on Grey's Anatomy)
*** Note that failure to assign you a character or part is not an intentional dig at you, hmm mmm KEITH*** The characters listed just happen to be those that I communicate and interact on a daily basis, as the sentence in the paragraph below suggests, you simply need to tell me who you would like to play you.**** With that being said, the role of Crazy Politc obsessed, Rocker Friend Keith will be played by Sean Astin.
That's just a starter. If the rest of you have someone in particular that you would like to play you, please let me know.
The story line will go as such...A beautiful happy girl living a wonderful life suddenly takes ill. She knows it's fatal, but does not share with her family and friends. Once she is so ill that she can no longer hide her sickness and impending death she reveals to her friends her deep dark secret. She has a twin sister, that was given up for adoption. Her twin sister is Nicole Ritchie, but she was so sickly and unattractive when she was born the family thought it best to give her away, lest she be the shame of their family.
Her friends go to great lengths to reunite the sisters, which includes breaking into a Good Charlotte concert and doing an impromptu number with the boys. New friends and Old friends forge a bond in the midst of their sadness and will link them together forever.
At the end of the movie the girl dies...of course, but the funeral is a beautiful celebration. New Orleans style with the big band marching down the street. All of her friends give moving Ugooglies (Zoolander Shoutout!), and her jilted Gay Boyfriend realizes after singing one of the most beautiful & moving songs that he indeed is not gay and was in love in her all along. At which point Charro - or whoever plays BFF Melissa will try to kiss him. The closing scene will be her Mom, Grandma, Ugly Twin Sister, & Bff's sitting in lawn chairs around the graveside laughing and ordering drinks for the bar that's been setup, glasses are raised, tears are flowing, laughter is boisterous as they say..."To Sandrine".
I think this one might win an Emmy. I'm just saying....
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