Dreams, Silly Dreams

I think most people don't recall their dreams or if they do the details are fuzzy. I can almost count the number of times I can remember dreaming. They say there is no such thing as a "dreamless" sleep, but I think I really do have dreamless sleep sometimes.

All that being said, I have had some pretty vivid dreams in recent weeks. And they are so so so very random. My dream last night seemed so freakishly real, and for one of the first times, I could see everyone's faces, I knew exactly where I was, and what was going on. It was actually a very happy dream, so why did I wake up heart pounding and feeling like I might vomit?

Maybe because it was so real, maybe because it's something trapped in the back of my head that I haven't even allowed myself to think on it. And so here I am today still thinking about it, and looking for a way to shake it from my brain. Don't most people try to hold onto their happy dreams? Should I really try to shake it from my brain? What do I do with this?

I know, this is by far one of my most random post and definately one of the vaguest. Welcome to my life...

Robin In The Snow

We've reached that time in the year, where I am feeling pain and I am almost certain it is death. A normal person would think that maybe you should go to the doctor and maybe figure out what exactly the pain is and why you are feeling it. But not me. I figure if I'm going to die I don't really want to know. :)

I don't really feel like I'm dying, but death is on my mind today. As I mentioned on Friday I have come to realize that I own a ridiculously large amount of sad music. So while hanging out with my good friend Ben on Saturday I tell him that I need some happy music. Ben tells me about an artist, Sonya Kitchell, particularly her song, Robin In The Snow. He says I have to download it immediately and listen. So I do, and I listen to it on my drive home. If I hadn't already been 20 minutes from his house I might have driven back to hit him. The song is about seeing a Robin born in the winter, much too early for a Robin to be out and because of the little Robin has been born to early it's dying. She says no one, but her knew about the Robin, and therefore she will miss it when it's gone, but who is going to miss her when she is gone. Did I mention that I've been a little needy and on the gloomy music kick? So why why why would you give me this dreadful song to listen to? I was so sad by the time the song ended and convinced I am going to die alone with no one to miss me. Thanks Ben!

Today begins, Operation Cheer where I am searching for happy music, happy movies, and good friends. I'm headed over to the Tarantino house for some Super Bowl watching, so that is a guaranteed good time.....

How to Save An Eye...

So technically I should be busy at work. But it's a slow friday and I feel very ADD. At the moment the web department is having a meeting back in my office, since it's the only conference table. Have you ever had the opportunity to sit through a web meeting? It is an interesting thing to see and hear. The people that you know to be "normal" suddenly transform before you and are replaced with true nerds, no geeks.

I suddenly feel like I'm in an episode of Star Trek and some strange species is taking over and they are speaking a language that I don't understand, and it's scary! So in the middle of all the crazy I want to gouge my eye out. To save my eye I've located my iPhone charger and headphones and have "plugged into the matrix". I've also been perusing DSW for shoes and updating my twitter like a maniac. Which I'm sure my followers are loving.

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So overall, I think it's a hormonal day. I feel uber needy and already shamelessly asked Monica not to leave me when she came back to visit earlier this morning. I used to have major issues with being needy, like it made me a weak person. But as of late, I've just learned to embrace it. Sometimes you just need a hug or to spend time with people, and it's a side effect of hormones. :) It probably doesn't help that I seem to own a ridiculous amount of sad/sappy music. Some of my favorites right now are Adele, Amy Winehouse, Missy Higgins, Yael Naim, Vedera, Rachel Yamagata, etc... All are great, but really are kind of on the dreary side. To make matters worse, a few nights ago on American Idol a girl sang the Billie Holiday song, Good Morning Heartache. I love love love Torch singers, so that song has always been a favorite of mine. So it's been in my regular rotation this week. As you can tell from the title of the song, it's not the happiest of songs. After listening to it 4 times yesterday I told Monica I wanted to light a cigarette and go lay on the front lawn of the office in the rain praying for death. Yeah. Happiness and Sunshine! I need happy music!

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A bride just came in for a tour, thus saving me from the back office and the geekdom that is running rampant back here. Maybe they'll be gone by the time I get back. :) Tee Hee!