More times than not when you leave something - like a job it is for good reason. But occasionally there are times, when it just feels like it's what needs to happen. It's not that things are bad, or that you don't enjoy it. It just simply feels like time to make that next step.
4 years ago I decided that it was time to stop moving and "settle down" into one place. Unlike most people I have the opportunity to go back and revisit that world at least once a year. And there it is, with all of it's flaws, ridiculous policies, and ways of doing things, and I can't help but love it. While in the midst of this world I find myself questioning if leaving was ever the right thing. Now that I'm settled what do I have to show for it? Has staying in one place netted me anything more?
I don't know why I continue to subject myself to this once sometimes twice a year, when I know that being here, and leaving here will make me miss my former life and long to return to it. Maybe this is where my heart truly belongs. Maybe it's just familiar.
Either way I'm ready to feel again. I've been stagnate, just hanging out biding my time. And while there are aspects of my world that I love, I am neither passionate, nor in love with what I do.
There's got to be something more....
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Swapping Lives
Last week in attempt to keep myself from finishing off the book that the Book Club is reading I went to the store and picked up two books. One was the new Jennifer Wiener book, Certain Girls, and the other, Swapping Lives, by Jane Green.
I am now in the midst of reading Swapping Lives...the basic premise is this, A single 35 yr. old English journalist trades lives with a married w/2 kids housewife in America. Both being excited to see how the other lives, the single girl pining for the marriage, the home, the kids, and the Housewife pining to find herself once again and escape the rut her life is in.
It's quite an interesting story. Today I am having my own "swapping lives" experience. Kind of.
Upon returning to San Antonio I decided to move in with my grandparents because 1) It's free room & board 2)I have no clue how long I'll hang around San Antonio and 3) My grandparents are awesome. Anyway, this week my Grandma is in Tennessee with my Mom and I don't get to escape until Wednesday. In the mean time I am stuck with my grandfather, who although completely competent acts helpless when my Grandmother is around. So yay! I have to deal with him, although while she's gone he for the most part remembers that his hands, arms, feet, & legs all work and amazingly can cook his own meal, carry it to the table, go back and get anything he forgot, and he can wash dishes! I should record this!
But I digress....
Every Sunday my Grandmother has my uncle, his wife and 2 kids out to our house and cooks dinner and almost always bakes something. I of course figured with her being out of town no one was coming over. That is until 9 this morning when my phone rings. Me: (Groggily) Hello?
Uncle: Hey! Me: What do you want? Uncle: Well, you know usually we come out there every Sunday and Grandma cooks, I was wondering if you were going to cook for us today. Me: (Pause....pause) Uncle: Hello? Me: Uh yeah whatever, come over.
So I commence cooking for the famn damily. I decided to make Lasagna and then get break and bake cookies along with some ice cream. It isn't until they are almost out here that my uncle mentions that his wife has stayed home and it's just he and the girls. Translation...In addition to cooking, you are expected to look after the 7 yr old and the 2 yr old.
It's 8:42, they are leaving, the kitchen is a mess, my ears hurt from the screaming and the ridiculous stories that don't make sense, and I'm pretty sure the dogs have been fed at least 2 chocolate chip cookies.
I love my family. And I absolutely adore my 2 little cousins. But I am SO happy they are going home and when I wake up in the morning the house will be quiet and the only person needing my attention, will be me.
To all you Moms - You deserve an award...seriously. To all you single girls pining to get married...get over it. Enjoy your singleness and while you're at it, give the Mom's you know a day off take their kids, clean their house...whatever. I'm sure they'll appreciate it, and you will find a new appreciation for your marital status.
I am now in the midst of reading Swapping Lives...the basic premise is this, A single 35 yr. old English journalist trades lives with a married w/2 kids housewife in America. Both being excited to see how the other lives, the single girl pining for the marriage, the home, the kids, and the Housewife pining to find herself once again and escape the rut her life is in.
It's quite an interesting story. Today I am having my own "swapping lives" experience. Kind of.
Upon returning to San Antonio I decided to move in with my grandparents because 1) It's free room & board 2)I have no clue how long I'll hang around San Antonio and 3) My grandparents are awesome. Anyway, this week my Grandma is in Tennessee with my Mom and I don't get to escape until Wednesday. In the mean time I am stuck with my grandfather, who although completely competent acts helpless when my Grandmother is around. So yay! I have to deal with him, although while she's gone he for the most part remembers that his hands, arms, feet, & legs all work and amazingly can cook his own meal, carry it to the table, go back and get anything he forgot, and he can wash dishes! I should record this!
But I digress....
Every Sunday my Grandmother has my uncle, his wife and 2 kids out to our house and cooks dinner and almost always bakes something. I of course figured with her being out of town no one was coming over. That is until 9 this morning when my phone rings. Me: (Groggily) Hello?
Uncle: Hey! Me: What do you want? Uncle: Well, you know usually we come out there every Sunday and Grandma cooks, I was wondering if you were going to cook for us today. Me: (Pause....pause) Uncle: Hello? Me: Uh yeah whatever, come over.
So I commence cooking for the famn damily. I decided to make Lasagna and then get break and bake cookies along with some ice cream. It isn't until they are almost out here that my uncle mentions that his wife has stayed home and it's just he and the girls. Translation...In addition to cooking, you are expected to look after the 7 yr old and the 2 yr old.
It's 8:42, they are leaving, the kitchen is a mess, my ears hurt from the screaming and the ridiculous stories that don't make sense, and I'm pretty sure the dogs have been fed at least 2 chocolate chip cookies.
I love my family. And I absolutely adore my 2 little cousins. But I am SO happy they are going home and when I wake up in the morning the house will be quiet and the only person needing my attention, will be me.
To all you Moms - You deserve an award...seriously. To all you single girls pining to get married...get over it. Enjoy your singleness and while you're at it, give the Mom's you know a day off take their kids, clean their house...whatever. I'm sure they'll appreciate it, and you will find a new appreciation for your marital status.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
I wonder....
I know that things in most movies make no sense whatsoever. Most movies aren't logical. But today I had a weird and random thought....
In scary movies when people are running from killers, wild animals, or their knife wielding sister, and they are crying shamelessly with snot running down the face...WHY does no one EVER pee on themselves?
I mean I've been scared enough to almost pee on myself. I've seen my bff Shana be so scared that she did pee on herself.
It just seems like a horror flick would be a smidgen more believable if someone peed on themselves. Not that psycho leprechauns and rabid flesh eating squirrels are really believable....
I'm just saying.
In scary movies when people are running from killers, wild animals, or their knife wielding sister, and they are crying shamelessly with snot running down the face...WHY does no one EVER pee on themselves?
I mean I've been scared enough to almost pee on myself. I've seen my bff Shana be so scared that she did pee on herself.
It just seems like a horror flick would be a smidgen more believable if someone peed on themselves. Not that psycho leprechauns and rabid flesh eating squirrels are really believable....
I'm just saying.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Saving this as something else
Erma Bombeck is quoted saying"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope I would not have a single bit of talent left, and I could say, "I used everything you gave me".
I have that quote at the end of all my emails. But today I find myself asking this question, "Am I truly using all of the talent that God has given me?" To be honest I find that I am not. While I have things that I am good at, I am truly living up to my full potential? Am I doing the things that I am gifted to do, or am I simply doing the things that require the least of me?
My dreams are big & my talents are many. I don't say that in a boastful way - we all are gifted and talented in so many ways. But what good is it if we are not actively using those talents?
My challenge to myself and to you is this, find the things that require your talent. That doesn't necessarily mean your job. It can be a variety of things in life. But whatever you talent is, find it, use it. I imagine that it is a liberating and and satisfying feeling.
I'd be interested to hear what your talents are and how you are using them. (That just felt like a very Oprah like sentence, but I'm going to embrace it)
Happy Adventures!
I have that quote at the end of all my emails. But today I find myself asking this question, "Am I truly using all of the talent that God has given me?" To be honest I find that I am not. While I have things that I am good at, I am truly living up to my full potential? Am I doing the things that I am gifted to do, or am I simply doing the things that require the least of me?
My dreams are big & my talents are many. I don't say that in a boastful way - we all are gifted and talented in so many ways. But what good is it if we are not actively using those talents?
My challenge to myself and to you is this, find the things that require your talent. That doesn't necessarily mean your job. It can be a variety of things in life. But whatever you talent is, find it, use it. I imagine that it is a liberating and and satisfying feeling.
I'd be interested to hear what your talents are and how you are using them. (That just felt like a very Oprah like sentence, but I'm going to embrace it)
Happy Adventures!
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Pictures
I am in serious need of a new picture - for all of my various web pages that have a lovely profile picture of yours truly. But here's the problem.... I HATE ALL OF MY PICTURES! Well , not all of them - just those taken recently. I used to be so photogenic! I'm not sure what happened.
I'm sure Melissa will be one of the first to tell you that upon seeing a new picture of myself my response is as follows..."Awwww.....blech!" (Blech being the gagging sound)
So my dilemma is this...how do I accept or learn to love my pictures? Or anyone have any great abstract ideas?
On a totally random side note...Who's in for the NKOTB Reunion? Since 95% of my friends have expressed interest I'm thinking a trip for one of their concert tour dates might be a great idea.
I'm sure Melissa will be one of the first to tell you that upon seeing a new picture of myself my response is as follows..."Awwww.....blech!" (Blech being the gagging sound)
So my dilemma is this...how do I accept or learn to love my pictures? Or anyone have any great abstract ideas?
On a totally random side note...Who's in for the NKOTB Reunion? Since 95% of my friends have expressed interest I'm thinking a trip for one of their concert tour dates might be a great idea.
Friday, April 4, 2008
Unlikely Friends
I have a random friend. And most people don't even realize that the two of us are friends. For some reason we are content with that. But this unlikely friend is a good friend, and I appreciate him.
The End
*** On a totally random unrelated side note I think everyone should visit my friend Keith's blog, Mr. Keith (the link can be found over there ----------->) and encourage him to give up Georgia and move back to Texas.***
Thank you.
The End
*** On a totally random unrelated side note I think everyone should visit my friend Keith's blog, Mr. Keith (the link can be found over there ----------->) and encourage him to give up Georgia and move back to Texas.***
Thank you.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Just creepy
Today my friend/co-worker Lindsay H. and I had an appointment with a linen company. We were looking at samples and getting a price quote for the linens at Lindsay's wedding reception. We were both familiar with the company and the owner since 1) Lins signed them as an advertiser in our book and 2) They are one of the 4 vendors that do linens at our wedding facility. We know that they have a good product at a good price.
In hindsight we should have known or had an inkling what we were walking into having dealt with/met with their staff before. But even with that, nothing could have prepared us for what we experienced.
Their "office" is in an industrial shopping center, if you will. Next door to some sort of chemical mixing company. I was a bit thrown for a loop when we walked to the front door and were greeted with, not a door but a baby gate. And walking towards us, was Trailer Park Barbie. Complete with a ratty bun on the top of her head, a lime green tank top, dirty jean shorts that had a whole in the thigh, and house shoes. OK, I can deal with that. The baby gate opens and we walk into HELL. No I take that back - I'm not sure the devil would hang in a place that trashy. I'm not sure what color the carpet ever was because it is so dirty that it might be pink or it might be brown. There were linens piled high on tables, and I'm pretty certain we never saw the actual top of the desk.
A cute little dog and a gray cat ran around - the dog biting at Lindsay's toes under the desk and the cat trying to get in the chair with me. I think Trailer Park Barbie (now to be referred to as TPB) could sense my discomfort with the cat in chair, or perhaps it was my screaming that clued her in, and she removed the cat from the office. In addition to the animals TPB had her very cute 2 year old there, who's feet look like she had spent 2 weeks walking in mud, sporting dirty pj's, and a dirty diaper.
** Do you hear the Deliverance music - battle of the banjos - playing???
Needless to say there was lots of kicking, hitting, & pinching by Lindsay and I when no one was looking. ESPECIALLY when the owner and her daughter TPB got into a hollering match across the building about - and I quote, "Learning how to plug the damn credit card machine by yourself".
When we left the only thought I had was how badly I wanted to for sure wash my hands and even possibly take a shower too. And then I had this whole thought that I felt like maybe a flea had jumped on me and as soon as I got home I needed to steal the dog's flea dip and douse my head in it. FYI - I didn't give myself a flea dip, but I did wash my hair.
I don't know if we'll actually use them for Lindsay's linens but I do know that I will NEVER EVER try to go over to meet them at their office again if at all possible.
Why oh why must people live that way????
In hindsight we should have known or had an inkling what we were walking into having dealt with/met with their staff before. But even with that, nothing could have prepared us for what we experienced.
Their "office" is in an industrial shopping center, if you will. Next door to some sort of chemical mixing company. I was a bit thrown for a loop when we walked to the front door and were greeted with, not a door but a baby gate. And walking towards us, was Trailer Park Barbie. Complete with a ratty bun on the top of her head, a lime green tank top, dirty jean shorts that had a whole in the thigh, and house shoes. OK, I can deal with that. The baby gate opens and we walk into HELL. No I take that back - I'm not sure the devil would hang in a place that trashy. I'm not sure what color the carpet ever was because it is so dirty that it might be pink or it might be brown. There were linens piled high on tables, and I'm pretty certain we never saw the actual top of the desk.
A cute little dog and a gray cat ran around - the dog biting at Lindsay's toes under the desk and the cat trying to get in the chair with me. I think Trailer Park Barbie (now to be referred to as TPB) could sense my discomfort with the cat in chair, or perhaps it was my screaming that clued her in, and she removed the cat from the office. In addition to the animals TPB had her very cute 2 year old there, who's feet look like she had spent 2 weeks walking in mud, sporting dirty pj's, and a dirty diaper.
** Do you hear the Deliverance music - battle of the banjos - playing???
Needless to say there was lots of kicking, hitting, & pinching by Lindsay and I when no one was looking. ESPECIALLY when the owner and her daughter TPB got into a hollering match across the building about - and I quote, "Learning how to plug the damn credit card machine by yourself".
When we left the only thought I had was how badly I wanted to for sure wash my hands and even possibly take a shower too. And then I had this whole thought that I felt like maybe a flea had jumped on me and as soon as I got home I needed to steal the dog's flea dip and douse my head in it. FYI - I didn't give myself a flea dip, but I did wash my hair.
I don't know if we'll actually use them for Lindsay's linens but I do know that I will NEVER EVER try to go over to meet them at their office again if at all possible.
Why oh why must people live that way????
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