Counseling for .05

A friend in crisis jokingly said tonight - you need a red phone and a blue phone. One is your friends in crisis and the other is the good time friends. Sadly these days I feel the blue phone would rarely ring.

The Bible says that God never gives you more than you can handle. He must think I'm one of those ridiculous female body builders with crazy big shoulders. Career plans, breakups, death, divorce, health, mental health everyone seems to have an issue. And while it is heartwarming and touching that so many of my friends, and even mere aquaintences think of me when life throws them off the track, it also exhausts me. How do I do it all and deal with my very own real life unfolding drama? How do I offer support, and listen without my emotions getting involved? Is it even possible to not get emotionally involved? I am drained. If I stop moving I sleep. If I am not actively doing something my mind is in their turmoil, how do I help, can I help, will this ever end. And in the midst of it all I want to say the things be the person Jesus would be if he were there in the flesh. Where did I get this job and this responsibility? And why?

Forgive me for my whining. But I worry - I worry that I will not say the right thing, that I'm not doing the right thing. I want to have answers for these hurting hearts, but often times find that I don't. Is being an ear and a physical presence enough? How do I offer emotional support and not lose myself in those emotions to?

While I try to figure it all out, I have to bring this to a close. The phone is ringing and there are tears to be shared.

Self Imposed Isolation

I feel like all of my recent blogs start with an apology for my absence.... So maybe I shouldn't wait so long between blogs?? Just a thought.

I have been M.I.A for a while now, on the blog front and the social front. To start things off June was crazy month filled with my bff from childhood getting married in San Francisco. That was good fun but a quick and crazy trip. From there back to San Antonio where my Mom ventured down to, while having a month long break from work. (nice ehe?)

Anyway, with Mom being here I got to be a serious recluse, sans Lindsay's wedding coordinating. I had a few friends complain that they still haven't met my Mom, but I had to explain...She is my VBFF, and because we get to see each other so infrequently I am so crazy jealous and selfish of my time with her. So much of her time here was us hanging out with the fam, we did see a few of her old friends that she hadn't seen in 10+ years. So with all of that it brings us to now. Mom went back to Tennessee (sad) and I've been working and job hunting.

Yes - the great job search is on once again. I started to realize a few days ago it was over a year ago that I left Granberry and went on my great roadtrip, and now it is quickly approaching a year from the time I arrived back and started doing "temp" work for the wedding guide. A YEAR AGO! And I'm still here. It's so past time to move on.

The fam is crazy and overflowing with issues so that's been a time consumer. So basically I've been dwelling in the land of me. I have no idea what's going on with anyone, sans Jenny, Monica & Lindsay - Lins & Mon I see everyday and Jenny and I talk frequently.

So what's going on with all of you? I have to admit I haven't even been reading blogs! So fill me in!

Decision Time

Dormant: marked by a suspension of activity: as a: temporarily devoid of external activity dormant volcano> b: temporarily in abeyance yet capable of being activated

Active: characterized by action rather than by contemplation or speculation active life> 2: producing or involving action or movement

Dreams: (3) a strongly desired goal or purpose dream of becoming president> b: something that fully satisfies a wish : ideal

It is an interesting interaction when the 3 meet. Only you can decide the outcome. Fear dwells among them, but it is your choice if the fear will motivate you or hinder you.

The clock is ticking frantically. It's time to make a decision.....

I wonder....

I know that things in most movies make no sense whatsoever. Most movies aren't logical. But today I had a weird and random thought....

In scary movies when people are running from killers, wild animals, or their knife wielding sister, and they are crying shamelessly with snot running down the face...WHY does no one EVER pee on themselves?

I mean I've been scared enough to almost pee on myself. I've seen my bff Shana be so scared that she did pee on herself.

It just seems like a horror flick would be a smidgen more believable if someone peed on themselves. Not that psycho leprechauns and rabid flesh eating squirrels are really believable....

I'm just saying.