Lifetime Movie of the Week

I think I might be on my deathbed. It started Sunday night with what I thought was food poisoning. But has continued through Monday, and now on to today, Tuesday. WebMD is one of the greatest and worst things to ever be created. I've narrowed down my illness to one of 3 things. I either have kidney stones, a ruptured tumor, or appendicitis. Many have suggested that I visit a doctor, but as I said to Melissa earlier today..."I'd rather not know, that way my death will be more heartbreaking."

Which then lead us into the conversation of my life and death as the Lifetime Movie of the Week.

In discussing this with Melissa we began to figure out who would play who. Please all of you commit this to memory because I really want my last wishes to be respected.

The Cast is as follows:

Sandrine: Gabrielle Union (It's my prayer that I look like her and have her body in Heaven)
Wanda (My Mom): Angela Bassett (Unless she has a different idea)
Grandma: Cicely Tyson
Nicole Ritchie: as herself
Jilted Gay Boyfriend: Josh Groban
BFF Melissa: It's my wish that Charro play Melissa - but she didn't see too enthusiastic about it. We're still trying to decide who it will be. **Due to complaints by BFF Melissa, her character will be played by Bridget Moynahan.** **Due to more complaints and scheming by BFF Melissa, she will play herself and will try to make a play for my Jilted Gay Boyfriend**
BFF Monica: Will be played by Sela Ward
BFF Lindsay Harmon: Bridgett Wilson-Sampras
BFF Jennifer: Chyler Leigh (also known as Lexie Grey on Grey's Anatomy)
*** Note that failure to assign you a character or part is not an intentional dig at you, hmm mmm KEITH*** The characters listed just happen to be those that I communicate and interact on a daily basis, as the sentence in the paragraph below suggests, you simply need to tell me who you would like to play you.**** With that being said, the role of Crazy Politc obsessed, Rocker Friend Keith will be played by Sean Astin.


That's just a starter. If the rest of you have someone in particular that you would like to play you, please let me know.

The story line will go as such...A beautiful happy girl living a wonderful life suddenly takes ill. She knows it's fatal, but does not share with her family and friends. Once she is so ill that she can no longer hide her sickness and impending death she reveals to her friends her deep dark secret. She has a twin sister, that was given up for adoption. Her twin sister is Nicole Ritchie, but she was so sickly and unattractive when she was born the family thought it best to give her away, lest she be the shame of their family.

Her friends go to great lengths to reunite the sisters, which includes breaking into a Good Charlotte concert and doing an impromptu number with the boys. New friends and Old friends forge a bond in the midst of their sadness and will link them together forever.

At the end of the movie the girl dies...of course, but the funeral is a beautiful celebration. New Orleans style with the big band marching down the street. All of her friends give moving Ugooglies (Zoolander Shoutout!), and her jilted Gay Boyfriend realizes after singing one of the most beautiful & moving songs that he indeed is not gay and was in love in her all along. At which point Charro - or whoever plays BFF Melissa will try to kiss him. The closing scene will be her Mom, Grandma, Ugly Twin Sister, & Bff's sitting in lawn chairs around the graveside laughing and ordering drinks for the bar that's been setup, glasses are raised, tears are flowing, laughter is boisterous as they say..."To Sandrine".

I think this one might win an Emmy. I'm just saying....

I wonder....

I know that things in most movies make no sense whatsoever. Most movies aren't logical. But today I had a weird and random thought....

In scary movies when people are running from killers, wild animals, or their knife wielding sister, and they are crying shamelessly with snot running down the face...WHY does no one EVER pee on themselves?

I mean I've been scared enough to almost pee on myself. I've seen my bff Shana be so scared that she did pee on herself.

It just seems like a horror flick would be a smidgen more believable if someone peed on themselves. Not that psycho leprechauns and rabid flesh eating squirrels are really believable....

I'm just saying.