The missing piece

I don't know what was different about this week. The heavens didn't open up and a light didn't shine down on me, I didn't get a special visitation of an Irish Angel and Black Angel driving a convertible Cadillac. There was nothing that was a magical shift or change in my week. But it was an extraordinary week. It was not a week of amazing events or even one spectacular thing.

This week it felt like the missing piece was found. The piece of me that I have been keenly aware was missing for quiet some time. Almost 7 years to be exact. I don't know where I found it or how it all worked, but I know that I felt different this week. The way I interacted with family, friends, & complete strangers reminded me of the girl I used to know. The girl that I've missed being. Like I said, I'm not sure what happened or why it all fell into place this week, but I'm almost overjoyed to feel "whole" again.

I think in finding that missing piece I realized there were things that I put in it's place that kept me from being able to put the piece back. That meant letting go of past hurts, one in particular that I used to think I might not recover from. I passed the peace pipe this morning. It was way past time. I didn't get a response, but the simple acting of passing it on felt like I was putting glue on that piece to secure it in place and make sure I never lose it again.

It's good to be back....

S

Long Time No Blog

Guess Who?!?!?!?! It's been a long time! I've missed you guys!

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Now playing: Club Des Belugas - Hip Hip Chin Chin (Yaziko club mix)
via FoxyTunes

Death of the Book

I know we are living in a world that is insistent on making life easier and accessible all times. You can talk to anyone at any time, update you status, change your flight, and communicate with your entire family with the simple click of a button. I will freely admit I love the advances in technology. I am guilty of of being "connected" at all times.

With that said - I love books. I love the smell of books. There is something so great about getting on a flight, sitting on the beach, or being curled up on the couch on a rainy day with a hefty book. Little books I'm sure are equally good, but there's something about the hefty book that makes me feel like I'm "really reading". Sadly the days of the "the book" are numbered. Everywhere I turn I see or hear about someone lounging around with their Kindle. Kindle this, Kindle that. It makes me ill. If you have a Kindle I mean no offense to you, but I must admit the idea of the Kindle itself offends me greatly and it saddens me.

The days of hanging out in the library and bringing home a bag full of books, wondering how you are going to read them all before they are due are numbered. Mindless afternoons wandering around Borders, Barnes & Noble, and Half Priced Books are numbered. Soon, even those dumb Harlequin romance books that middle aged women purchase will be considered "antiques" because they are actual books. Now if the thought of the Kindle doesn't offend you, the thought of anything with Fabio on the cover being considered an antique or a classic should be offensive.

And for those getting ready to say "Books will never go away", I would like you to please find me a current 45", an 8 track, or even a cassette tape.

So in summary....Video Killed The Radio Star, like Kindle Killed The Book.

Thank you and good day. I said GOOD DAY!

I don't care Who's Got What

From the time the Internet video surfaced of Susan Boyles I immediately disinterested. Perhaps it was my Cacophobia that kept me away, or maybe the fact that I have a crazy amount of talented friends that she didn't wow and amaze me.

Needless to say I haven't jumped on the Bandwagon or joined her fan club. From magazines, to the Today Show, to Entertainment Tonight, Access Hollywood, E! I can't seem to escape at least one reference to Susan Boyle. So I have to ask the question? What is it about this woman? I've heard her sing, yes she has a lovely voice, but why is that so amazing? Is it that she's middle aged and can sing? Is it that she's unattractive and can sing? Is it that she got mocked at first, and then cheered? But even with all of those things - what's new? Who care? Most artist weren't the most popular ones and there's a large amount of them that are still unattractive. So I'm still really baffled. Anyone have any insight for me?

I'd love to understand what the fascination is. I hear she's had a makeover, but the Cacophobia still keeps me away. Poor Susan, I don't loathe her. I just don't get it. Either way, I wish her well - now America, can we move on to something else of interest? Like the Economy or the Obama's new dog??


Thank you and Good Day...


"I SAID GOOD DAY!" - Fez

PS. I've been a bad blogger - I'm getting back on the horse, slowly but surely!

Puma in Training?

In the past couple of months I seem to be the Pied Piper to Young Men. And when I say young I mean, early 20's. I'm not sure how or why, but they seem to be finding me regardless of where I am or what I am doing. I don't have an issue with someone a few years younger, but 9 or 10 years is a bit much, when it's barely 21. The sad part is that they all have been completly adorable. But, I'm too scared I'll be on the next episode of "To Catch A Predator" with police jumping out of the bushes to give these guys serious consideration.

Am I being ridiculous? Am I a Puma in training? God knows I'm not old enough to be a Cougar!Should I be giving these youngsters a chance? I feel dirty even considering it.

I think I'm going to start carding guys as soon as they approach. For the record...single life is ridiculous. But a convent is more appealing everyday. I already wear black and white, almost every day. The only draw back is that Sister Sandrine sounds stupid. Actually I can think of more drawbacks than just that one. But that's another blog...

Where You've Been, Where You're Going

Today I attended my Godmother's father's funeral. I'm not quiet sure how to say that without it all being a mouthful. But anyway...this family's history is so closely intertwined with my family that sometimes it's hard to remember what happened to who when - was that their family that happened to or ours? Somewhere over the years we all just kind of lost touch. Some of us moved from the old neighborhood, and some of stayed, others moved along.

My Godmother and Mom have been best friends since high school. The met their (ex) husbands together, they were in each other's weddings, they were there for each other when their husbands turned out to be the scum of the earth, and they were single mom's together. My first and clearest memories are with my God sister. My grandmother and I were reminiscing today on Tammy & I being in daycare together and my grandparents picking me up to go on a camping trip and Tammy crying because she wanted to go too, so they took her. No cell phone to call and tell her Mom that she was gone for the weekend, just a note with the teacher that Sandrine's grandparents had taken her camping with them. (That could never happen now!) She has been the closest thing that I have ever known to a sister.

Life being life has thrown us many curve balls and we have journeyed down very different paths and have lost contact along the way. Today at her grandfather's funeral my heart was sad for the loss, he was a great man, who always made me laugh and made me feel loved. But in addition to that sadness there was also a sense of peace, one because I know I will see him again in heaven, but also because it felt like I was coming home. Faces I hadn't seen in years, memories racing to the forefront of my brain. Life was good with these folks. They know the beginnings of Sandrine. They still see my potential, regardless of where life has taken me, and they believe that the world is still mine for the taking.

Today was a sad day. We said goodbye to Papa.

Today was a happy day. Sandrine came home to her family.

What's with the Sappy?

I am a weird combination of things. I am girly I love shoes, pretty things, but I hate dressing up - give me jeans and a pair of Chucks (that's Converse for you youngsters).

I love chick flicks, but I really really love movies that are about Senseless Violence (Hitman, Mob movies, Die hard, etc...)

I cry easily, sad movies, happy endings, watching other people cry. But I don't want my crying to make people think I'm soft.

I feel like I go through these seasons where I am uber sappy - maybe it's hormones. I fall in love with love. I'm listening to songs about love - real love. I'm watching movies about love. I hate that this time the sappy season seems to be hitting me about the time that Pagan Love Day is rearing it's ugly head. For those of you who forgot - I hate Valentine's Day. And it isn't a singles thing - it's a commercial - lack of originality or spontaneity thing.

Anyway, I'm super sappy this go around. I'm making myself ill with my ooohhhing and awwwing at the sweet things. There aren't any even any violent movies out right now so I could try and balance things out.

I pray it passes before Feb. 14th or I really will make myself vomit. Why does that sound like I have an issue with love or being in love? That truly isn't the case. Maybe it's just that open and vulnerable feeling that I struggle with. I guess that's not a bad thing.

I'm not sure how to end this thought/blog so I'll end with this.

SAVE YOUR MONEY. Tell your spouse/boyfriend/partner that you love them on a day they aren't expecting it, on a day that the rest of the world isn't saying it. Buy them a card/candy/flowers - on February 9th or March 29th, and do it because you want to - not because everyone else is declaring their love. Everyday should be the day your significant other knows exactly how you feel about them. Give your money to Hallmark for Birthday's instead. :)

Poindexter or Old Navy Lady???

So in true Sandrine fashion - as only I can do, I lost my glasses on friday night. How you ask? I hung my head out of the car window to "spit" my gum while on San Pedro late at night/early morning and instead my glasses were caught by the wind and flew off of my face. Nice!

For those of you that don't know me that well, I am BLIND. I don't mean Stevie Wonder blind, but close. Like the first thing I do in the morning is reach for my glasses so I can make it out of the room. People always ask - are you farsighted or nearsighted? The answer is yes. I've been in glasses since the age of 8 and near or far - it doesn't make a difference anymore it's all a mess.

So, my good buddy Joan drove me home, being that I couldn't drive myself - being that I can't see and all. Saturday morning revealed what I knew in the back of my head, I didn't have a backup pair. (I think I broke those too) BUT, I did have a great pair of prescription sunglasses. I sported those to go get my eyes checked and get new specs. Can someone tell me why I am the only person in the world who goes to the 1 hour glasses place and NEVER gets her glasses in an hour? No, I get to rock the Stevie Wonder look through the weekend. Awesome.

Monday comes along and Whoop! whoop! It's time to go get my glasses! I go and pick them up and go along my merry way. (Insert scratching record sound here) Is it just me or are these glasses HUGE? I don't remember picking these out! The more I look at myself in the mirror, I'm pretty sure they aren't the glasses I picked out, so I take a pic on my cell and send it to my Mother.

Ring Ring!
Me: Hey
Mom: Why are you're glasses so big?
Me: Ok so I'm not crazy - I think they gave me the wrong glasses

So I go back - I tell the lady, "I hate these, I don't think they are what I wanted". She of course is OH SO helpful and tells me to pick another pair and they will fix it. Once again I am the girl who's glasses are never ready in a hour so I have to come back the next day. Tuesday morning I call - "No ma'am they are not ready - we will have them at 3PM." Aren't they the ONE HOUR place???? So at 3PM I traipse into the store....

Ma'am - there was a problem with the lense - you're glasses won't be ready until sometime tomorrow. WHAT?????? At which point I am tempted to act like an outraged idiot, but I pull it together, take a deep breathe, channel my inner nice girl and reply, "Hmm - ooooookkkaaayyy, " (I might be playing nice girl, but I'm still sassy). "Can you tell me when they will be ready? I'm just tired of coming back and forth only to get the run around" The lady apologizes profusely and assures me that she will call the very moment they are ready.

Oh I'm playing the nice girl - but if my glasses aren't ready tomorrow.........

In the mean time - entertain yourself with the cell phone pic of the nasty glasses. I can't determine if they are more Old Navy Lady or Poindexter - I'm thinking PD.

To be titled at a later date

A few months ago I got a package in the mail from my Mother and included in the package was a newspaper article. The article included a picture of me and a friend that I have long since lost touch with. Let me take that back - I haven't lost touch with them, it was someone who at the time I felt like for my heart's sake I needed to intentionally cut out of my life.

That article has been sitting by the printer since I got it from my Mom, and I haven't given it much more than a passing glance. Until yesterday. Sometimes when life is at it's craziest or taking interesting twist and turns I think of this friend. So yesterday as I was flying around on this crazy roller coaster of my life I happened to glance over at the article. I sat looking for a long time at the two people in the picture and remembering what good friends they were, how much fun they had together, and how they encouraged each other. It then made me think of the "hurt" I thought my heart had endured, and I began to wonder if they had really hurt my heart, or did I misinterpret the situation and in turn hurt my own heart. Now all these years later I'm not so sure which one it is or was.

So I sucked up my pride and got in touch with the long lost friend. In their always gracious and kind way they picked up right where we had left off. I don't know that my heart is 100% recovered - I don't know if it was ever beaten up on the way I thought it was. But I know that at this particular time in my life - it's good to have them back.

A Not So Normal - Normal New Year's Eve

This year's celebration was not what I anticipated at all. I banked on it being kind of quiet and reserved, being that we were celebrating with people we hardly knew, if not at all. I thought I'd be saying goodbye by 12:02 and home by 12:45.

Who knew that instead we would make instant friends, and have one of the best New Year's celebration that we've had in a very long time? It was fantastic and highly entertaining. What a better way to start the New Year than good times with old & new friends?

I hope all of you had a great entry into 2009. This is going to be a great year!

Cheers!
Sandrine