I have had a few days this week, where I wake up in the middle of the night and think - where have I been? In some ways I feel like I've been checked out for a while. I went to see my Mom in South Carolina, but that was only for a few days.
I am aware of what's going on in the world around me, but aside from Lindsay, Monica, & Jennifer - I am almost completely disconnected from my friends.
When I was moving around all of the time, one of the few things I prided myself in was maintaining relationships. Regardless of where my friends were I did a fantastic job of keeping up with them. But strangely it feels like being stationary - settled in one place has made me lazy.
Shana - my best friend lives in the same city and we talk maybe once a month - and see each other every 2 months or so. Granted we both have crazy jobs and we both realize that we are complete slackers - so we're working at spending more time together.
Hilarie - also in the same city, just on the other side of town. I think it's been 2 months since I've actually spent time with her and I talked to her briefly last week when sharing the news of my new job. I keep up on her life via facebook and her blog.
Amy - my bff in Kansas City. The person I used to spend every single day with. The friend that lived with my Mom in Louisiana, while I lived with her parents in Kansas City. I never imagined a time when I wouldn't know what was happening in Amy's life. But as it turns out - I am way out of the loop. She had her bachlorette party this weekend. I didn't even know about it.
I could go on and on about the friends I've lost track of. Sans Shana and Hil all of the rest I at least have the excuse that they live in a different city/state. I think Amy's bachlorette thing kind of snapped me to attention just how far removed I've become.
I don't have a reason why - I don't have an excuse. It's kind of like I just checked out. I have to admit it made me very sad. And yes it is all a two way street, but I can't help but wonder if I made more of an effort, would they? And where do you go from here? Has too much time passed to try and catch up? I'm not used to this. I'm not used to maintenance. I'm used to friends like Shana and Heather - that yeah I might not talk to you for a month maybe more, but it's ok - when we catch up, we're ok - we're right where we left off.
So, to Shana, Hil, Amy, Miriam, Lisa, Ashley, Alma, Cassandra, Sarah, Mikey, Rachel, Alisa, Regina, Robin, Stacie, Tiff and whoever else I'm missing. I'm sorry I've been MIA! I'll try to be better!
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4 comments:
Yay!! You're back. I recently reconnected with my childhood BFF after like a 10 year hiatus. I am glad to say we have found common ground and were mutually excited to be reaquainted, even if we live 3,000 miles away from each other. Chin up and welcome back!!! Big Hugs :)
it's hard to get back where you left off sometime. i guess it just depends on why you left off so many years ago. some friends it's like i never let go, others it's weird. i hope you can reunite with them and start over :)
You can't always give and give in any kind of relationship - it won't last. If you were to reconnect with these people, would it really all go back to being the same? Some people are just seasonal & maybe that's where a majority of these people fall in your timeline of life.
Relationships change and sometimes someone walking out of your life is a huge blessing in disguise. Do not worry boo boo bear, I ain't going no where. Unless of course you beg me to move cross country & promise me the world and then 2 weeks before I leave, you tell me no don't come or you steal my boo with the Kangol cap - well then we gonna fight!
I feel ya. I've been the same way but also the whiney friend & realize, um, not a whole lot of people like that.
In any event, I hope your reconnections with your friends go smoothly and don't blame yourself, you're right, it takes both.
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