The missing piece

I don't know what was different about this week. The heavens didn't open up and a light didn't shine down on me, I didn't get a special visitation of an Irish Angel and Black Angel driving a convertible Cadillac. There was nothing that was a magical shift or change in my week. But it was an extraordinary week. It was not a week of amazing events or even one spectacular thing.

This week it felt like the missing piece was found. The piece of me that I have been keenly aware was missing for quiet some time. Almost 7 years to be exact. I don't know where I found it or how it all worked, but I know that I felt different this week. The way I interacted with family, friends, & complete strangers reminded me of the girl I used to know. The girl that I've missed being. Like I said, I'm not sure what happened or why it all fell into place this week, but I'm almost overjoyed to feel "whole" again.

I think in finding that missing piece I realized there were things that I put in it's place that kept me from being able to put the piece back. That meant letting go of past hurts, one in particular that I used to think I might not recover from. I passed the peace pipe this morning. It was way past time. I didn't get a response, but the simple acting of passing it on felt like I was putting glue on that piece to secure it in place and make sure I never lose it again.

It's good to be back....

S

Long Time No Blog

Guess Who?!?!?!?! It's been a long time! I've missed you guys!

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Now playing: Club Des Belugas - Hip Hip Chin Chin (Yaziko club mix)
via FoxyTunes

Death of the Book

I know we are living in a world that is insistent on making life easier and accessible all times. You can talk to anyone at any time, update you status, change your flight, and communicate with your entire family with the simple click of a button. I will freely admit I love the advances in technology. I am guilty of of being "connected" at all times.

With that said - I love books. I love the smell of books. There is something so great about getting on a flight, sitting on the beach, or being curled up on the couch on a rainy day with a hefty book. Little books I'm sure are equally good, but there's something about the hefty book that makes me feel like I'm "really reading". Sadly the days of the "the book" are numbered. Everywhere I turn I see or hear about someone lounging around with their Kindle. Kindle this, Kindle that. It makes me ill. If you have a Kindle I mean no offense to you, but I must admit the idea of the Kindle itself offends me greatly and it saddens me.

The days of hanging out in the library and bringing home a bag full of books, wondering how you are going to read them all before they are due are numbered. Mindless afternoons wandering around Borders, Barnes & Noble, and Half Priced Books are numbered. Soon, even those dumb Harlequin romance books that middle aged women purchase will be considered "antiques" because they are actual books. Now if the thought of the Kindle doesn't offend you, the thought of anything with Fabio on the cover being considered an antique or a classic should be offensive.

And for those getting ready to say "Books will never go away", I would like you to please find me a current 45", an 8 track, or even a cassette tape.

So in summary....Video Killed The Radio Star, like Kindle Killed The Book.

Thank you and good day. I said GOOD DAY!

I don't care Who's Got What

From the time the Internet video surfaced of Susan Boyles I immediately disinterested. Perhaps it was my Cacophobia that kept me away, or maybe the fact that I have a crazy amount of talented friends that she didn't wow and amaze me.

Needless to say I haven't jumped on the Bandwagon or joined her fan club. From magazines, to the Today Show, to Entertainment Tonight, Access Hollywood, E! I can't seem to escape at least one reference to Susan Boyle. So I have to ask the question? What is it about this woman? I've heard her sing, yes she has a lovely voice, but why is that so amazing? Is it that she's middle aged and can sing? Is it that she's unattractive and can sing? Is it that she got mocked at first, and then cheered? But even with all of those things - what's new? Who care? Most artist weren't the most popular ones and there's a large amount of them that are still unattractive. So I'm still really baffled. Anyone have any insight for me?

I'd love to understand what the fascination is. I hear she's had a makeover, but the Cacophobia still keeps me away. Poor Susan, I don't loathe her. I just don't get it. Either way, I wish her well - now America, can we move on to something else of interest? Like the Economy or the Obama's new dog??


Thank you and Good Day...


"I SAID GOOD DAY!" - Fez

PS. I've been a bad blogger - I'm getting back on the horse, slowly but surely!

Puma in Training?

In the past couple of months I seem to be the Pied Piper to Young Men. And when I say young I mean, early 20's. I'm not sure how or why, but they seem to be finding me regardless of where I am or what I am doing. I don't have an issue with someone a few years younger, but 9 or 10 years is a bit much, when it's barely 21. The sad part is that they all have been completly adorable. But, I'm too scared I'll be on the next episode of "To Catch A Predator" with police jumping out of the bushes to give these guys serious consideration.

Am I being ridiculous? Am I a Puma in training? God knows I'm not old enough to be a Cougar!Should I be giving these youngsters a chance? I feel dirty even considering it.

I think I'm going to start carding guys as soon as they approach. For the record...single life is ridiculous. But a convent is more appealing everyday. I already wear black and white, almost every day. The only draw back is that Sister Sandrine sounds stupid. Actually I can think of more drawbacks than just that one. But that's another blog...

Where You've Been, Where You're Going

Today I attended my Godmother's father's funeral. I'm not quiet sure how to say that without it all being a mouthful. But anyway...this family's history is so closely intertwined with my family that sometimes it's hard to remember what happened to who when - was that their family that happened to or ours? Somewhere over the years we all just kind of lost touch. Some of us moved from the old neighborhood, and some of stayed, others moved along.

My Godmother and Mom have been best friends since high school. The met their (ex) husbands together, they were in each other's weddings, they were there for each other when their husbands turned out to be the scum of the earth, and they were single mom's together. My first and clearest memories are with my God sister. My grandmother and I were reminiscing today on Tammy & I being in daycare together and my grandparents picking me up to go on a camping trip and Tammy crying because she wanted to go too, so they took her. No cell phone to call and tell her Mom that she was gone for the weekend, just a note with the teacher that Sandrine's grandparents had taken her camping with them. (That could never happen now!) She has been the closest thing that I have ever known to a sister.

Life being life has thrown us many curve balls and we have journeyed down very different paths and have lost contact along the way. Today at her grandfather's funeral my heart was sad for the loss, he was a great man, who always made me laugh and made me feel loved. But in addition to that sadness there was also a sense of peace, one because I know I will see him again in heaven, but also because it felt like I was coming home. Faces I hadn't seen in years, memories racing to the forefront of my brain. Life was good with these folks. They know the beginnings of Sandrine. They still see my potential, regardless of where life has taken me, and they believe that the world is still mine for the taking.

Today was a sad day. We said goodbye to Papa.

Today was a happy day. Sandrine came home to her family.

What's with the Sappy?

I am a weird combination of things. I am girly I love shoes, pretty things, but I hate dressing up - give me jeans and a pair of Chucks (that's Converse for you youngsters).

I love chick flicks, but I really really love movies that are about Senseless Violence (Hitman, Mob movies, Die hard, etc...)

I cry easily, sad movies, happy endings, watching other people cry. But I don't want my crying to make people think I'm soft.

I feel like I go through these seasons where I am uber sappy - maybe it's hormones. I fall in love with love. I'm listening to songs about love - real love. I'm watching movies about love. I hate that this time the sappy season seems to be hitting me about the time that Pagan Love Day is rearing it's ugly head. For those of you who forgot - I hate Valentine's Day. And it isn't a singles thing - it's a commercial - lack of originality or spontaneity thing.

Anyway, I'm super sappy this go around. I'm making myself ill with my ooohhhing and awwwing at the sweet things. There aren't any even any violent movies out right now so I could try and balance things out.

I pray it passes before Feb. 14th or I really will make myself vomit. Why does that sound like I have an issue with love or being in love? That truly isn't the case. Maybe it's just that open and vulnerable feeling that I struggle with. I guess that's not a bad thing.

I'm not sure how to end this thought/blog so I'll end with this.

SAVE YOUR MONEY. Tell your spouse/boyfriend/partner that you love them on a day they aren't expecting it, on a day that the rest of the world isn't saying it. Buy them a card/candy/flowers - on February 9th or March 29th, and do it because you want to - not because everyone else is declaring their love. Everyday should be the day your significant other knows exactly how you feel about them. Give your money to Hallmark for Birthday's instead. :)