For 10 years my life was about moving every year. Not just for the joy of moving, but for work. It was fantastic, if you loved a place , although it was hard to leave, you were glad for the time you had there. If you hated it, well you only had to suffer through it for a year.
When I stopped traveling it was all about stability - how could I have a real life and ever have a meaningful relationship if I were moving all of the time? If I could reach back in time I'd slap that naive 25 year old and tell her to stay where she was and enjoy what she had. Since "settling down" I feel as though I stay in a constant state of discontent. Perhaps my heart truly is that of a wanderer.
But in the midst of my desire to "wander" I wonder (I wonder as a I wander... I think that's one of my fave Christmas songs!) I digress... I wonder in the midst of all of this roaming if I am just searching. When I was a kid or even 10 years ago I could tell you what I wanted to do with my life, what I wanted to be when I grew up, what I was passionate about. And as of late it seems to have become this gray fuzzy lump that has no clarity. Maybe I'm just looking for the thing that motivates me again.
So how do you find your passion again? How do you get back to the main road when the detour you've taken is so off the beaten path you can't even see the little bread pieces you laid out for yourself to find your way back?
Meanwhile that itch is back - waiting and ready for you to move, to change your surroundings, and get away to something new and different yet, always familiar.
About Me
- Sandrine McCurdy
- I used to think that The Great Adventure was about traveling to far off exotic places, doing unheard of things. As I get older, I realize the Great Adventure is simply living life. Taking chances, loving and living. In some ways, I feel as though my great adventure is just beginning.
My Blog List
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About damn time...13 years ago
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PART I of III - SAY MY NAME!14 years ago
4 comments:
from one wanderer to another...in my recent experience I have found that there is no better anchor than purchasing a home...especially in this market. I'd be lying if I said my itch doesn't rear its nasty little white head right in the middle of my forehead from time to time. No itch cream can make it go away forever. Its always there...lurking. However, while I liken this past year and a half to that of taming a wild stallion (sue me, I love to romanticize), this experience of moving to some place that I never ever imagined I would (out of all the places I said I would live someday, Maryville TN was never one of them. Tennessee was never one of them.) I have found myself surrounded with unexpected diversity and a community of fellow dirt dwellers. Being here, away from the lifetysle I was beginning to build in San Antonio (also, something I never intended or wanted to do but it sorta just happened and before I knew it 3 years had gone by and all the quirks I loved about my fomer life were buried behind my fabulous city shoes and handbags!) has given me back my clarity and reminded me of the interests I am passionate about. All in all....picking up and moving and settling down long enough to realize this has been good. Now my wandering will have to come at the expense of my not so disposable income and smarter consumer decisions. Blah for the responsibility but yay for the sense of direction.
God Speed fellow wanderer. Here's to you finding YOU again.
follow your itch, follow your heart. do you what you want and love it. i have no real advice for you but oh how i dream sometimes to be free and have the ability to travel. *sigh*
I guess to get back to that passion you have to remember what the passion even was to begin with. You know I like to hang my hat on stability - it has taken me a while to get where I am & I'm no where near in a position to settle down - whatever that means - because seriously do you ever really settle down? I mean bound, gagged & chained down with a house, husband & kids - that really doesn't sound too appealing to me to settle down for.
I've always found that getting back to that passion is to somehow stop being distracted from it. Easier said than done, but I don't care if I fail because at least I would have tried. Ohmystars - I can't believe I just said that seeing failure is my biggest fear - but anyways - yes remember what that passion is & take 1 step towards it. Unless of course your passion is taking London's place at the 7 Seas and then whatever I don't know what to tell you other than I will send you a pair of fishnets that will go well with those hooker shoes you have.
Is this a universal thing for women in their 30's? I could relate to a lot of what you said. After the excitment and adjustments of getting married and then becoming a mom, I've settled into a place of questioning exactly what it is that I'm passionate about, and exactly what do I want to do with my life? And how does being a wife and a mom change that? Should it change that?
My life has turned out so differently than I thought it would, and a lot of this past year has been trying to come to terms with that. Even though I am content with my life and I truly enjoy being a wife and a mom, I am left with the feeling that there should be something more. I used to have big dreams and big ideas, and now I have 9 to 5 job and a mortgage and diapers to change. Does that mean that I give up the dreams? Does it mean that I change to a different dream?
Oy.
Best wishes as you try to figure out the next step!
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