Monday, March 5, 2012

Stop Excusing People


“Just because somebody doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with everything they got”


I've seen this quote a lot over the past few weeks/months in various places on the internet. The first time I saw it, I thought, "Wow, that is a great thing to keep in mind." But the more I see it, the more I really think about it, the more it annoys me.

I'm only going to speak for women here, because I have no idea how the male mind processes that statement and I have yet to discuss it with any of my male friends. Somewhere - I'm not sure where, we became people who have, I dare say, have fallen in love with the idea of unrequited love. We read about it, watch movies about it, God knows Taylor Swift has sung enough songs about it. And while I am certain that almost all of us have had that very experience, it seems as though we've forgotten how much it completely sucks. There is nothing romantic, fun, or enjoyable about it.

Not everyone will love you the same way that you love them, and for the most part, I think most of us know who those people are in our lives. But this quote gets under my skin. It's almost an excuse or pass for those people. I'm not calling for you to give up on people, but don't we deserve someone/people in our lives that love us like we love them? Is this simply an excuse to let someone treat you less than because they don't feel the same way? Are we settling for what they can give versus what we truly want or desire, even deserve?

Most of you don't typically comment on here, but I'd really like some other thoughts and feed back on this one...

- S

4 comments:

Rey Lo said...

This male mind has to process this for a bit. Comments forthcoming. Please stand by...

Karla said...

I like this saying, and I think that's because I took it differently than you did. I didn't look at it as talking about unrequited love, but a relationship where you spend too much time trying to get your significant other to do things the way YOU want them done, and not enough time appreciating them the way they are. I think a lot of times, and I am definitely guilty of this, we get fed up with our SO's because they don't show they love us the way we want them to, or they don't do things we want them to, and sometimes we amount this to "they don't love me." This isn't true. They love us in their own way and with their own methods. It doesn't mean they don't love us. I think this saying is up for interpretation, but that is how I took it.

mp said...

i took it the same as Karla and ditto to what she has to say about significant others.

but...for example my relationship with my mom, i can see more of what you said. she is still forever criticizing me and i feel like i'm always encouraging her and sometimes i ask why? she never encourages me? even with me in school right now trying to get a degree, something neither of my parents did, she never asks me about school or even knows what my degree is in. i feel like i act more mature than her and all she does is complain, especially when it comes to my life.

hope that gave you some insight.

Cali Kenway said...

At first I was annoyed but now I'm just sad when I read this quote. We all deserve to have someone love us the way we want to be loved and to love us back the way we love them. And we shouldn't settle when the person we love can't/doesn't show us the love we want. It annoys me that this quote implies that it is ok to settle.

With that being said I look at my own life and realize that I don't always show my friends and family the love I feel for them... And that makes me sad because they deserve it.