Nice? What does that even mean?

I recently had a conversation via Twitter with a colleague/friend Jon Pyle about one of my favorite books and movies, Pride and Prejudice, which then turned into an interesting observation by Jon and an even more interesting conversation.


Jon shared that in talking about this story (one that his wife Amanda loves, and one that he is growing to like and appreciate more) that something struck him. There is nothing "nice" about Mr. Darcy, yet there are women who simply love and adore Mr. Darcy. I am included in those who think that he one of the best male literary characters ever and do often wish he truly existed in my world. That being said, the thought is - what exactly is "nice"?


Webster defines nice the following ways: 1) pleasant; agreeable; satisfactory 2) fine or subtle 3) (archaic) fastidious; scrupulous 


Translate all of that to : Boring, nondescript, doormat. Mr. Darcy comes off as pompous, arrogant, and rude (those are all essentially the same thing, but go with me). Anyway, upon digging a little deeper we find that Mr. Darcy in fact is a very shy and kind hearted man. But never would he be characterized as "nice".


When a woman says, "he's too nice", what does that really mean? After Jon laid his thoughts on niceness out for me, I started to reflect on all of those that I had deemed to nice, and found that they were in fact, quite boring. There was nothing in particular that stood out about them. They  are men that I could run all over with my sometimes overbearing strong personality. Which then raises another question - do I want a "bad guy". Not at all, in fact the men that I have been the most attracted and drawn to, were strong men, guys who knew what they wanted, and had a strong presence. 


I don't know yet where I'm going with this, but it's given me a lot to think about. Do I categorize people, men in particular as nice guys or bad guys? Do I want a bad guy, or do I simply want a man that is not boring, that has strength, that leaves an impression, and when you get down to it, is truly kind hearted.


Jon's mission is to obliterate niceness. I think this is a challenge I am willing to accept. I am sure that there are people who have put me in that nice category, so it's time for some evaluation, what does my presence say to the people around me? 


Interesting thoughts Mr. Pyle, interesting thoughts!