Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Thank You Is Not Enough

October will mark 5 years that I have been back in San Antonio. As I have said many times before, when I moved back here I certainly never thought I'd be here this long. What some of you don't know is that when I moved back here I was a mess. I had recently left a job that in all honesty had put me off of being involved in "ministry" and gave me a great distrust for God's people. Not to mention a host of other crazy that brought me to a place of telling myself it was time to go home and it was time to get my life together.

I'm sure my family knew I was a mess, but it wasn't up for discussion on my part, but they could see that I was a hurt and jaded person coming back. I visited church, on occasion, but I was not really interested in being there or being a part of a "body". In my mind at that time I was okay with God, but I wasn't crazy about His people. I had a job that was in no way close to church or ministry work and I was more than happy with that. Sometimes I felt as though I dealt with less there than I ever did in ministry. 

Fast forward 2 years, I started to regularly attend a church, one that was different than other churches I had attended and the people seemed more authentic. It's through that church that I ended up at the job I am at today. Event Coordinator at TriPoint. My new boss had actually been on staff at the church that I was attending, so in my mind that validated him as "good people". This is David Robbins... In interviewing with him I knew that we would work well together and I knew that we would get along. What I didn't know, is how he would change my life, and my perception of ministry and of God's people.

I have worked with David just shy of a year and one thing I've noticed in that time is that everyone who has worked for David - spoke in such high regard of him. They call and visit with him, the seek him out for wise council. David is the heart of ministry. I watch him as he serves his family, he serves his church which is where he also works. In everything he does I have noticed he looks for ways to be Jesus to the people around him. Watching him, being led by him, blesses me daily.

Two weeks ago I was offered a position on staff at the church I attend, City Church Downtown. If I had been asked to even consider joining a church staff as recent as a year ago I would have not just said no, but it would have been a resounding HELL NO. While I love my church I still wasn't in a place to work at church. Yes, I work for a church now - but I'm not in ministry, I am a part of ministry, yes. I don't know quite how to explain it, but somewhere in my little mind it all makes sense. I digress.... anyway, my first answer to the offer was no. I was conflicted and just couldn't decide if it was the right move for me. I prayed and asked for friends to pray, on and on it went. Deep down I wanted that position, but I wasn't unhappy with where I am, I have a great boss - why would I leave that? And to work at a church?? After even more prayer and more soliciting prayer from friends I knew that I needed to take the position.

There are things that I will miss about where I am right now, the cafe just outside my door, the interesting people I encounter on a daily basis, the pool table that we can play a game of pool at when the day needs a little pick me up, etc... But most of all I will miss David. If not for him I know I would not be in a place emotionally or spiritually to take this job. He doesn't know that he has helped heal some of those past wounds, and that as I watch him encounter some his own trials with believers and non believer with grace and humility I have learned how to be gracious and that God works not because of us, but in spite of us.

David - Thank you does not begin to express my appreciation for you and all that you have taught me over the last year. I am excited about this new chapter but I am incredibly sad that you will not be a part of my day to day. Who will tell me ridiculous stories? Go out of their way to startle me with a clap as they walk into the office? Mock me for having a musicals station on Pandora? Or randomly sing - "Ooooooooooooweeeeee, What's Up Wit Dat?" You can guarantee that I will be among many who have nothing but kind things to say about you, who call you, and come to visit with you randomly, and who still seek your advice and wise council. 

Thank you is simply not enough....


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