Where You've Been, Where You're Going

Today I attended my Godmother's father's funeral. I'm not quiet sure how to say that without it all being a mouthful. But anyway...this family's history is so closely intertwined with my family that sometimes it's hard to remember what happened to who when - was that their family that happened to or ours? Somewhere over the years we all just kind of lost touch. Some of us moved from the old neighborhood, and some of stayed, others moved along.

My Godmother and Mom have been best friends since high school. The met their (ex) husbands together, they were in each other's weddings, they were there for each other when their husbands turned out to be the scum of the earth, and they were single mom's together. My first and clearest memories are with my God sister. My grandmother and I were reminiscing today on Tammy & I being in daycare together and my grandparents picking me up to go on a camping trip and Tammy crying because she wanted to go too, so they took her. No cell phone to call and tell her Mom that she was gone for the weekend, just a note with the teacher that Sandrine's grandparents had taken her camping with them. (That could never happen now!) She has been the closest thing that I have ever known to a sister.

Life being life has thrown us many curve balls and we have journeyed down very different paths and have lost contact along the way. Today at her grandfather's funeral my heart was sad for the loss, he was a great man, who always made me laugh and made me feel loved. But in addition to that sadness there was also a sense of peace, one because I know I will see him again in heaven, but also because it felt like I was coming home. Faces I hadn't seen in years, memories racing to the forefront of my brain. Life was good with these folks. They know the beginnings of Sandrine. They still see my potential, regardless of where life has taken me, and they believe that the world is still mine for the taking.

Today was a sad day. We said goodbye to Papa.

Today was a happy day. Sandrine came home to her family.

What's with the Sappy?

I am a weird combination of things. I am girly I love shoes, pretty things, but I hate dressing up - give me jeans and a pair of Chucks (that's Converse for you youngsters).

I love chick flicks, but I really really love movies that are about Senseless Violence (Hitman, Mob movies, Die hard, etc...)

I cry easily, sad movies, happy endings, watching other people cry. But I don't want my crying to make people think I'm soft.

I feel like I go through these seasons where I am uber sappy - maybe it's hormones. I fall in love with love. I'm listening to songs about love - real love. I'm watching movies about love. I hate that this time the sappy season seems to be hitting me about the time that Pagan Love Day is rearing it's ugly head. For those of you who forgot - I hate Valentine's Day. And it isn't a singles thing - it's a commercial - lack of originality or spontaneity thing.

Anyway, I'm super sappy this go around. I'm making myself ill with my ooohhhing and awwwing at the sweet things. There aren't any even any violent movies out right now so I could try and balance things out.

I pray it passes before Feb. 14th or I really will make myself vomit. Why does that sound like I have an issue with love or being in love? That truly isn't the case. Maybe it's just that open and vulnerable feeling that I struggle with. I guess that's not a bad thing.

I'm not sure how to end this thought/blog so I'll end with this.

SAVE YOUR MONEY. Tell your spouse/boyfriend/partner that you love them on a day they aren't expecting it, on a day that the rest of the world isn't saying it. Buy them a card/candy/flowers - on February 9th or March 29th, and do it because you want to - not because everyone else is declaring their love. Everyday should be the day your significant other knows exactly how you feel about them. Give your money to Hallmark for Birthday's instead. :)