This City

It's funny how time flies by isn't it? I moved back to San Antonio 6 years ago this week. In some ways it feels like a lifetime ago, but it in many ways it feels like I just got here.

I try to blog about every year about the move back here and how my perspective on coming back home has changed. As many of you know I was not enthused about moving back to my hometown. My plan was to come back and stay for maybe a year or two and then move on to bigger and better things. I never imagined that I would be back here and that I would be happy being here. How that has changed! I don't know that I'll be here forever or even 2 years from now, but as it stands right now I'm happy being here.

Being young and dumb I felt like San Antonio had nothing to offer me, I even felt that way upon my return. But over the last 6 years, I've seen my city change and grow so much. I've come to appreciate it's flaws and quirks and love it's amazing qualities. You know how all little kids go through an "ugly stage"? They're awkward, they're trying to figure out who they are, what their style is, and then seemingly overnight they are beautiful, they are poised; they might not know who they are yet, but they are moving confidently in the direction of becoming whoever they are meant to be. I feel like San Antonio has done that in a lot of ways, and now... it's now in the beautiful stage. Perhaps a lot  of it is my perspective or simply a heart change, but without a doubt this city has grown up.

Regardless, I'm glad the path God has me on led me back home. This city is my city, and I love it.

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The Good Mormons

The Good Samaritan Mormon

We moved into our new apartment mid-February. Upon move in we found out that in the apartment below us there were approximately 6 Mormon elders who are all on their mission. Our first interaction with them was the night Jill and I were moving our beds along with our washer and dryer with the help of my friend Cipriano. They were coming home and saw the 3 of us struggling and immediately jumped in to help. When Tracy moved in last month they again jumped in when they saw she & Robbie carrying a table in.

It has become a running joke amongst the 3 of us as we carry heavy things or even a ton of groceries in to the apartment that one should not take a super deep breathe or grunt while carrying anything - it's like shining the beacon light for Batman. It's like they appear out of no where. The other neighbors in our building always talk about how helpful these guys are. And they are SO FRIENDLY! I have never encountered them without receiving a cheerful greeting and an inquiry as to how I am doing, and unlike most people who only flippantly ask how I'm doing, without truly caring about my response, I have no doubt that these guys genuinely care about what my answer is.

I know, I know... Where am I going with this?

Two nights ago as I pulled into our apartment complex I saw two of the guys walking up to the front office parking spaces. It was well after office hours so I was super curious to know where they were going/what they were doing. As I looked to see what they might be walking towards I realized that there was a man on the ground working on his car and they were on their way to offer help. To be honest, I don't know that I would have ever seen the guy and I certainly know that there was no help that I could have offered. But that's not the point. Daily I watch these young men be a good neighbor to those around them. It might be some manual labor, it may just be a kind word, it might be an inquiry.

In watching these guys I find that I am asking myself, what kind of neighbor am I? And so I ask you, what kind of neighbor are you?

Stop Excusing People

“Just because somebody doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with everything they got”

I've seen this quote a lot over the past few weeks/months in various places on the internet. The first time I saw it, I thought, "Wow, that is a great thing to keep in mind." But the more I see it, the more I really think about it, the more it annoys me.

I'm only going to speak for women here, because I have no idea how the male mind processes that statement and I have yet to discuss it with any of my male friends. Somewhere - I'm not sure where, we became people who have, I dare say, have fallen in love with the idea of unrequited love. We read about it, watch movies about it, God knows Taylor Swift has sung enough songs about it. And while I am certain that almost all of us have had that very experience, it seems as though we've forgotten how much it completely sucks. There is nothing romantic, fun, or enjoyable about it.

Not everyone will love you the same way that you love them, and for the most part, I think most of us know who those people are in our lives. But this quote gets under my skin. It's almost an excuse or pass for those people. I'm not calling for you to give up on people, but don't we deserve someone/people in our lives that love us like we love them? Is this simply an excuse to let someone treat you less than because they don't feel the same way? Are we settling for what they can give versus what we truly want or desire, even deserve?

Most of you don't typically comment on here, but I'd really like some other thoughts and feed back on this one...

- S

DONE

Et avec cela je suis fait - "And with that, I'm done."


I've been asking myself a lot over the last week, "when is it time to be done with someone?" I am a person hates to ever give up on another person or truly end a relationship, but as we all know, sometimes that very thing is necessary. But when - where is the balance of needing someone out and letting your emotions in a moment determine the answer?


Just something I'm asking myself this week. I'd love to hear your thoughts...

Don't Waste It

talent |ˈtalənt|noun1 natural aptitude or skill : he possesses more talent than any other player | shedisplayed a talent for garden design.• people possessing such aptitude or skill
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I've been thinking a lot lately about talent -  God given, raw talent. I think 90% of the time when we talk about talent, people automatically start to think of those that are musically or artistically gifted, but it is so much more. Which led me to my next thought, why do we so often sell ourselves short? Why do we dismiss what we are gifted at? Is it that we are in fear of being full of ourselves, or is it simply that we do not see our gifts as, "enough". 
Why do we question ourselves? What is it about our "talent" that we are so scared or ashamed of to share? There are people with talents very different from mine, and I so appreciate that, parts of life and even my work are effected by their gifting. And even as I write that I feel in a sense that I am cutting down or under playing my own God given talents, whatever they may be.
Why are you wasting your talent? Some where someone is need of your talent. It doesn't matter that other people might have the same type of talent - There is something in you that sets you apart from all of the others. I recognize that I am saying this as much to myself as I am to anyone that's reading this.
So my challenge to you today - Don't waste your talent. Find a way this week to exercise that very thing you have been gifted with. And if you feel like you don't know what your talent is, take some time over the next couple of days, weeks, even months to figure out what you are gifted at, what you are passionate about, and then pursue it.

Almost Honest

I've been thinking a lot about honesty. I'm not talking truth vs. lie, I'm talking about openness, being real, being honest about what you think and feel.

I was thinking back to younger Sandrine, when telling a story of something that happened or something that was going on, in my description of the situation or circumstances, I always included how I felt. I described my thoughts and emotions in every situation. In particular, I'm thinking about my teen & young adult years. My friends at the time, they didn't make fun of it, but they found it amusing. In every story or they would stop me and ask, "Wait, how were you feeling?". It never "hurt" my feelings, but I became keenly aware of what I shared. Maybe people didn't really want to know what I was feeling.

I don't think my young mind truly processed it at the time, but hindsight I can see where I stopped sharing my emotions. You have to be in the inner circle and willing to dig a little to get my real feelings and emotions. (Yes, I'm fully aware of how unhealthy that is).

A couple of weeks ago I was put on the spot. It
wasn't a question that was life or death that needed to answer, but it was a question that would require me to be a little vulnerable and share what I might really be thinking or feeling. Instead I laughed it off and made an escape. You know what's sad about all of that? I wanted/needed someone to ask that question, so I could get answers myself. But that would've required some honesty from myself. Why is that so scary? In part I know it was scary because I didn't know what the other answer would be, but hadn't I been complaining about needing an answer?

What right do I have to be angry or upset at someone else's lack of candid honesty, when I can't/won't give it myself??

I'm not wanting to be the girl that attaches her emotions to everything, but I do think it's time to be the girl that is real & honest with her emotions and what she is feeling.

So I guess it begins here....

Fill In The Blank Friday

1. The best thing I did all week was acknowledge things for what they are and not what I want them to be. I'm ready to be at Chapter 3, but the truth and healthy reality is, I'm still writing Chapter 1 in this new volume of life.
2. Super cute, sweet babies make me super happy.
3. Pets are someone else's right now, but I do feel like I'm ready for one.
4. I love my job, and I'm getting healthier are the best thing about my life...right now.
5. With the cooler weather I am looking forward to I'm actually looking forward to any cooler weather. I'm ready for closed toed shoes, tall boots, winter skirts, sweaters & scarves!
6. Something that's on my "wish list" right now is a trip to see my bestie and her new baby, Sydney, new boots, and a vacation to a beautiful semi quiet place in the world.
7. This weekend I am going to ... sadly I have no big weekend plans. Since starting at the church my "weekend" is broken up between Saturday and Monday. But I will try to rest, I will do something just for me, and I will let go of all of the mess ups and failures of the week, and I will celebrate the good and beautiful things that happened during the week instead. I will focus on what is to come.

What are you fill in the blanks today?